Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The Gnomish Revolution

First to explain where there is no transcript between myself and Yesterday Thom Kidrin and myself discussed several issues back and forth with emails. Due to some complications I had to send most of my questions to him where I had hoped he would have responded to by now. Since I haven't heard back from them, the posting of the interview sadly has to wait.

But not all is a lost! The second battle on the polls begins as does a brief little story of how the Gnomes saved Christma...I mean...defeated the Drunken Wizard. Enjoy. Or don't.

" Thiiiiiirsha manugk phah! "

Seabos growled. Once more his gaoler had been twisting together his favorite obsessions. Torturing his people and imbibing his favorite liquor. Quickly slipping into the shadows amidst the menagerie of exotic artifacts, ghastly jars filled with the gods know what, and other objects of the arcane as he left the upper levels of his master's tower.

It had been this way for years, to the point where he could barely recall the concept of freedom. Was it 10 years? Or 20? He couldn't remember. Days seemed to melt together into a lump of misery and pain. Yet today shifted away from that glob.

Today was special.


" Whhhhyy ishh you already dead, nome? " the Wizard slurred, spittle spraying out from between his lips. He gestured, wand in one hand the bottle in the other, toward the poor gnome. What was left of the poor creature at least. The only evidence of it's existence being a fine powder of ash that was quickly being blown out of the window.

The Wizard chuckled as he ran his fingertips through the pile of ash, writing arcane symbols with a long delicate digit. He only needed a few more phrases in the arcane tongue and one command word. Then another one of his slaves would serve him in an existence after death.

He took one more swig, finishing the brandy. Tossing the now useless glass to the floor, he began the final incantations to the spell as the glass shattered.


The glass shattered as gnome after gnome swung from the top of tower to emerge screaming with blood lust and rage, 3 feet of pure terror as they crashed through the stained glass windows in the Wizard's laboratory.

" Whhhhhat ish thissh?! " The Wizard cried, horror struck as he fell backwards. With a loud whoosh all the air left his lungs as he landed upon the hard stone floor. His gasps quickly turned to horror as he saw gnome after gnome run into the room. Each held a strange box that made a most curious ticking noise.

One of the gnomes came up to the Wizard and placed his tiny foot hard upon the human's chest.

Seabos Daergel could only glare down at the human in silence. The rage that built within his heart had no words. There was only one way his people could feel at peace, only one way they could mourn. With a swift kick to the face the Wizard slumped into blissful slumber.


Minutes later..

The Wizard groaned. He had a most fascinating dream where his charges had risen against his might. As his cheek rested against the cold stone floor, he contemplating how he might torture a few extra today. Yet his thoughts couldn't focus. There was such a cacophony of tickin...

The tower of the Wizard exploded into a huge pillar of prismatic colors that reached high into the skies. Like ghosts violently tearing away from the earth in exultation of their freedom. The shock wave from the blast shook the caravan of gnomes as they headed back toward their ancestral homes.

Seabos smiled.

The End. Gnomes Win.


That's it for the first match. A bit more serious then I had intended. I promise the next match the army of gnomes are in will be more silly than anything. Forgive me also for the horrible parody of an actual fantasy novel-ish. The next poll is up so go ahead and vote!

1 comment:

  1. And here I had thought you had lost your skill with words in the ways of the fun stuff. I stand corrected. You still have it sir! I still say we should attempt one last D&D session although there is a 99.99% chance of failure on that lol. You should relate how one of my toons was beat to death my kids with sticks. That one is classic.


The MMO Experience © 2008 Template by: